I have a new blog! (Emily’s Yoga Blog)

Hi peeps!

While I’ve been busy avoiding running/swimming/biking and any/all discussion on such topics, I have been YOGAING.  New word.  I started a blog for the hell of it.  Sort of a home base for people that are all “who are you?”  And I’m all:

http://emilyolivayoga.blogspot.com/

Check er out, subscribe, bookmark, whatevs! I hope you are all well.  I’m still reading about you on the internets…

LYLAS,
Emily

Lost

Oh people.  Where have I gone?  I wanted my first post back to be epic but I will not make any promises or even attempts at that.  This is going to be just about what I can type out in the 4 minutes I have before I am scheduled to study.  (I’m trying to be more structured with my fun-employment, more on that later.)

I am about to start my 4th month in my new life, away from my job.  I have gotten a lot accomplished, but not nearly as much as I’d hoped.  I couldn’t sleep at all last night and ended up going to bed with the birds chirping and sky lightening.  I think I’m feeling a little anxious with the lack of routine that I have.  I decided to attempt to be more structured, but in a very productive way.  I tend to get bogged down in the details, then overwhelmed, then sometimes give up.  Aside from the benefits of being detail-oriented, this is not such a good trait.  Someone said to me recently – use your faults to your advantage.  I’m still trying to figure out how that can work for me as my faults still seem like my faults.  I’m trying to embrace certain things but I do tend to get frustrated with myself.

There is no other way to say this next thing, so I’m going to just say it.  My mom has cancer.  It still feels really weird to think/say/type that as my family just isn’t the “cancer type”.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  This all started a couple of months ago and a lot of action has taken place since.  Summary:  annual mammogram found something, biopsy was done, cancer was detected, surgery for lumpectomy scheduled, surgery showed cancer had spread to lymph nodes, further biopsy after surgery showed it had only spread to ONE lymph node, “the plan” for treatment was laid out…chemo starts on Thursday, radiation after that.

I have been trying to count my blessings since this arose and I think I’m doing a fairly good job.  I am close with my parents, but they live 1500 miles away.  I’m making a better attempt to communicate via phone and even set up skype/webcam (could be my demise?).  My family emails each other all day every day, but it is not too personal – weather, what we did, etc.  I went back to Michigan for the surgery, am going back for 10 days again in July while my sister is out too, then we’re planning a week rental on Lake Michigan in August. 

The trip home for the surgery was, to put it bluntly, not good.  I was alone, no husband and away from my house, stuff and timezone.  None of us expected the cancer to have spread – we thought they’d scrape it out then do radiation and onto a somewhat normal life again.  I’ll never forget the feeling in the waiting area when the surgeon came out to tell us.  I was with my dad only and felt completely heartbroken and above all SCARED.  Even though my family is close we don’t get too super emotional and this was a time when my guard just came down.  Seeing my dad upset too wrecked me.  The rest of my visit was really really hard for me.  I’m glad I was there for my parents sake but behind closed doors I was a wreck.  Lots of tears and thoughts and feelings that I’ve been avoiding all of my life. 

It wasn’t until a few days after I got home, when the results of the biopsy of the rest of the lymph nodes came back with good news, that I started to feel relief.  I truly had been expecting the worst possible news so was shocked at this.  So happy.

She still needs to go through chemo and I know that will be really rough.  It will be a huge lifestyle change for a while, especially the losing the hair part, but a necessary part of getting better.  The 10 year outlook for her type of cancer, with this treatment, is very very positive. 

Everything is going to be okay, she is going to be okay and I am going to be okay.  This all opened my eyes to the fact that my parents are getting older and aren’t going to be around forever.  This concept of losing people is terrifying to me and I’m slowly trying to face that bit by bit.  My adventures in yoga and in life are helping me along and making me better able to cope with roadblocks like this.  I am growing and that is good.

I’m not a huge risk taker and this isn’t a huge risk, but the situation of the past few weeks prompted me to carpe diem just a little bit and make a tiny, non-permanent change:

BANGS!  Fringe has not graced my forehead since 1989 so I kind of feel like a new woman…and sorta like the old too:

(Someday I’ll post my Boston marathon report.  I’ll also post about my recent less major trials and tribulations including yoga, garden, travel, volunteering, etc.)

I am ALIVE

Hi there.  I am alive and well and wanted to post an update. Honestly, nothing big is happening but I’m staying very busy.  Loving spring and the start of summer.  Here’s a bulleted update of my latest adventures/thoughts:

• Boston Race Report:  Total procrastination.  But now that I’m using Live Writer the writing and editing is a lot easier.  I have a first draft!  All of the pictures are in this draft post and I’m adding the narrative as I go.  It is hard to be inspired to write this report – I want to include everything but the more time that passes I worry that I’m forgetting things…  Oh well, it is what it is, right?
• Health:
  • Continuing weekly goals are eating well, taking vitamins, sleeping well, drinking less.  For the most part is has been a success…
  • Run 35 miles per week – this was my goal distance after I recovered from the marathon.  I have not been achieving it, more like 5-10 miles per week or 1-2 runs per week.  I’ve found that if I’ve run it makes my yoga practice less successful as my legs and entire body is tired.  I really do need to find a way to incorporate running back into my lifestyle so am trying to play around with ways to make this happen.  I.e., instead of running before yoga, do it immediately afterward to give myself optimal recovery time.  Unfortunately this is a catch 22 as right after yoga I’m exhausted and hungry.  Something has to give.
  • Swim 3x/week – I started off really well with this, taking advantage of the 50 meter facility that I have access to.  However, in the last two weeks I have not swum at all.
  • Bike 3x/week – This is a clear fail as I have not biked once!  My intention was to hit up spin class until the weather cleared but I haven’t done that either.  Partially due to the same issue the running presents with yoga.  Is that just an excuse?  Probably a little bit.
  • YOGA!  Yoga has been going great.  I started into it pretty intensely the Thursday after my Monday marathon.  Since then (April 22nd) I have only missed a couple of days on the mat.  I got a monthly membership to Yoga Pearl and been hammering away there almost daily.  I am really getting a lot out of it which I will explain in detail later.
  • Analysis:  I need to work more on incorporating something cardiovascular into my routine. 
• Work:  I do not miss it one bit.
• House:
  • I have a whole list of house projects that I’ve been chipping away at…boring stuff (pricing out blinds, pricing out new garage door, finishing paint touch ups, painting old furniture, organizing my closet).  I’m making progress so I’ll give myself a score of 3 out of 5. 
• Garden:
  • Take/post monthly pics – done for May!  (see below for a couple)
  • Make raised beds – this has been an ongoing process that seems to be taking forever.  Do we use wood or stone as a base?  How much soil do we need?  What is the best value, who delivers it, etc.  It is exhausting and replicates our process when taking on projects like this, including planning trips.  Hence, we never travel.  Bite the bullet people and make it happen!!  I have tomato starts that I did from seed that need to go into the ground soon.  I have other places I can put them but I want my damn raised beds!  HOPING to get this done by next Wednesday.  HOPING.
  • Start lettuce, radishes and carrots in the ground.  I started the radishes then the slugs came and nibbled away at most of them.  I created a moat of slug control around it and some radishes appear to have survived.  They’re still tiny though and I’m watching them daily to see if they’re growing.  Damn slugs!
  • Grow peas – I started these weeks ago outside and they’re already growing tall!  I created teepees from our downed bamboo in the back.  I can’t wait for the blossoms and harvest!  Slugs were an issue here too but the bait/poison I laid down seems to have done the trick.
  • Plant annuals on front walk – I bought a tray of starts from a local high school that has a horticulture program.  Everything was half off and it is neat that the kids started everything.  However, the tray still sits while I wait to find the *perfect* spot for them, then weed out the areas I want to put them.  How come I’m so slow?  I’m trying not to focus too much on the landscape architecture part of it and just have fun with it but it is hard.  So many options!
  • Start up sprinklers – we have a built in system and I’m not sure when we need to start them.  Anyone know?
  • Slug control – the slugs are rampant here and they’re disgusting.  Not to mention they eat everything up. I hate them!  I worked yesterday for an hour around 2 hosta plants that they’ve devoured already.  I snipped off all of the swiss cheese leaves (most of the plant, sadly) and created a bait/poison moat around those too.  I hope they grow back!  There is a lot more work to do on slug control…stay posted
  • Analysis:  In general our garden is thriving.  Our home’s previous owners were avid and the perennials they planted are in full bloom.  We have so many beautiful iris varieties coming up right now it is amazing.  The peonies in front are about to burst out.  I am loving it and can’t wait to keep working on it.  But it is work, and a lot of it.

 

Peas on 5/3/10

Peas on 5/9/10

Slugs!

Slug lunch

NE bed on 5/3/10

NE bed on 5/9/10  (as of May 18th, today, it is even MORE spectacular!  Need to post another pic!

 

• Volunteering/Outreach:
  • Lunch Buddies – this is a program I started three weeks ago.  I basically am paired with an elementary school kid to act as a mentor and meet up with them at their school for lunch weekly.  So far it has been great!  My buddy is a super cool and mature 3rd grade girl.  We even did a field trip last week together!  I jumped on this late in the year, but I’m glad I did it.  I’m hoping we can be matched next year too.
  • Living Yoga – This is a great local program that I’m excited to be involved with.  I started a couple of weeks ago.  My intention was to volunteer teach in one of their programs, but ended up working in the office.  I’m still going to participate in their teacher program – there is a facility near me that they teach at and I’m signed up for the teacher training in July – but in the meantime will help where ever they need me.  Last week they asked me to help with an exciting fundraising campaign for them that is coming up soon.  It is their first year doing it and I’m super excited to help develop it.  I used to work in NFP and am hoping to leverage that for Living Yoga.  We have a luncheon this Thursday to kick it off and I’ll give more details soon!
• Travel:
  • Book Italy tickets – We’re planning to go in September and NEED TO BOOK TIX.  Need.  Must.
  • 3 new hikes in May – So far we’ve done one day hike in May.  I’m planning to go on a one-night camping trip with a friend this weekend if weather permits.  I am so excited and a little terrified!
  • Book trip to Michigan – Waiting on some more information but hoping to have tickets booked by the end of this week to go in June.
• Fun stuff:
  • JT visit
  • Wedding help
  • Cirque du Soleil
  • Oregon Symphony Beethoven Festival
• Yoga:
  • This is honestly the most important part of my life right now and I’m trying to focus all of my efforts here.  This is the first time I’ve been able to deepen my practice this much and I’m having trouble laying out the plan for improvement.  With running, swimming and biking there is usually a clear path or plan that you can easily find and modify for your own needs.  With yoga it is a bit different.  I’m trying to listen to the advice to create my own home practice but this is really hard.  I enjoy going to class but can’t get myself to have a meaningful practice at home.  I am working on it though and keep reading more about how to make this happen.  The yoga itself deserves its own post which I will put up soon.  I want to report on the different studios, classes and teachers I’ve gone to and what my plan is for teacher training.  I have a lot of really good stuff started and can’t wait to see what happens next in this new path for me!

 

That’s about it!  Sorry if this was the most boring post ever.  Hope you’re having a great week!

Inbetween Stuff

I am totally behind the ball on writing my Boston race report but that doesn't mean I can't post anything right?

I have done 10.5 hours of yoga in the past 7 days (and that includes 2 days of being out of town). I feel great. Sore and tired but great and fired up for the next steps. I am also trying to branch out and find some opportunities to begin practicing more, learning more and even TEACHING. It is very exciting.

Anyone in Portland want some free yoga classes? Seriously - let me know!

I have run twice since Boston. First time on Monday (one week after the race). A really nice and easy 4 or 5 miles that felt great. Today I ran 3.6 miles around my Willamette Riverfront loop after my 2nd yoga session of the day. I have to admit that my right knee started feeling a bit tweaky and is still sore a few hours later. Damn! Might be the excessive yoga...speaking of which. I hope I don't get injured.

But honestly I can feel my body transforming with this yoga stuff. I wonder if/when it will go away and become easier for me. Hoping it tempers out somewhat but I want to stay challenged. I am really liking it.

Weather in Portland has been more dynamic than usual - spurts of hard rain followed by bright sun and rainbows. Reminds me of the midwest and I love it.

Blazers lost tonight and are out of the playoffs. Bummer.

Ok, bye.

Boston Update (quickie version)

I ran the Boston marathon!

I finished in 3:57:03. The race knocked my socks off - I was expecting crowds and support but nothing like what I saw. I had my name on my shirt and felt like a rock star. I've never experienced anything like that before. I high-fived no less than 875 kids and cheek-kissed 2 Wellesley girls. The weather was gorgeous. I ran an even steady and easy pace until Mile 20ish when my legs cramped up. The last 6 or so miles were very difficult but I finished the race. Of course I wish that hadn't happened but it made me feel human and alive and I'm proud of myself for pushing through it. I have my suspicions to the origin of this demise but can get into that later. I'm going to write up a race report early next week with all of the details.

Thanks for reading!

Emily

Boston Marathon Eve

Well, it is almost here - the day I've been waiting to come for months. I have to admit I am super fired up and ready for action. Last night I couldn't fall asleep because of all of the excitement - thoughts running through my mind like crazy.

Yesterday I slept in then went to the convention center w/my sig O. We got there early afternoon and ended up spending a lot longer than anticipated. It took me a while to get into the swing of things, but before I knew it I was signing up for contests, taking samples, pictures, buying crap, etc. I ended up getting the official Boston jacket for 2010, plus some fun shirts for my supporters out here. I also found a great t-shirt made by New Balance that I'll have to post a picture of.

We got out of the convention center about 3:30 and had a small lunch (including beers!) at The Pour House before heading back home. I had only a short while to get in my 4 mile run so ended up going only 2 miles down heartbreak hill. I guess I went down to Walnut Street (which is mile 19 of the course). I did a bunch of analysis on the hills that basically amounts to me making them smaller than they are. I think it worked!

After that we made a pasta dinner and my uncle (who is also running tomorrow) came over to celebrate. We had your basic salad, pasta w/tomato sauce and veggies and some bread. I had a sip of wine but am otherwise holding off until the race starts. When we drove my uncle back to the T we drove the entire 4 miles back down and up the hilly part of the course so it was good to see that again. At some point, however, it becomes futile to keep looking at it. I'm not Ryan Hall, I just need to go out there and run my race.

I tried going to bed early but probably fell asleep around 1 a.m. local time. I did wake up at 10 so I guess I got in my sleep. Waking up at 5 a.m. tomorrow is going to be a bear...I am going to put myself to bed around 8 or 9 tonight and just read until I get tired.

On my agenda for today:

-relax
-stretch
-hydrate
-attach chip to shoe
-attach bib to top
-fashion a name tag for my top (I'm on the fence on this but have been convinced by my sister that I MUST do it!)
-cut out pace band
-charge Garmin
-ice shin (it has been flaring up again)
-set alarm
-finish packing my bag
-pack up bag for Josh for the finish
-run thru the meet up plan w/my peeps
-go to bed early!

Is that thorough enough?

I have completed my plan for tomorrow morning and my "marathon plan" for the race. Here we go:

Race Day Schedule:

5:00 - wake up, shower, coffee, eat, drink limited water (don't want to have to pee on the bus), body glide up, dress
6:00 - drive to T station
6:30 - arrive downtown at shuttle buses, meet up with Susan, board buses
7:30/8:00 - arrive in Hopkinton
8-9:15 - bide time, stretch, hydrate, eat a little more, take pics, beam with pride, etc. (try not to freak the F out)
9:15 - take bags to baggage bus (take off all non-throwaway clothes, more body glide, Gu, tylenol)
9:30 - head to corral 13
10:00 - start race!

Race Plan:

In general, here is the race plan....


In case you can't read it, I've separated the race into 5 sections: Zone, Settle, Wellesley, Hills and End. I wanted to note some bullet points in each section, so here they are:

Zone (Miles 1-4):
-don't go out too fast!
-watch Garmin & ease into it
-DOWNHILL

Settle (Miles 4-13):
-FLAT
-find stride
-save legs for later
-take nutrition/water

Wellesley (Miles 13-16):
-keep pace @ W.O.S. (Wall of Sound aka the screaming ladies)
-take nutrition/water

Hills (Miles 16-21):
-eat/drink at start and end
-head down and grind it out
-remember I-205
-catch breath inbtwn hills (1-1.25 miles btwn each hill)
-Mile 19 - family meet up
-end of hills is real halfway mark

End:
-shake em if you got em
-finish strong/nothing left
-soak it in!

I am really excited for the finish and to eat/drink my face off. I really hope the race goes well and I finish feeling not too terrible. I know it is going to hurt, and probably pretty badly toward the end but I've been there before and know I can push through it. I suspect the most difficult part of the race will be pacing myself through the downhills and not going out fast. Then of course the hills will be a little nasty with the finish being the nastiest part of it all.

Despite the challenges of a race like this I am really looking forward to knocking it off my life list and making myself and people I know proud. I'm going to relish in the pain and struggle knowing not everyone has the luxury of participating in such events. It really is a privilege and I intend to make myself worthy of it.

I might write more later depending on how nervous or bored I am...until next time! (Oh, if you want to track me, my bib is 13523.)

I Am In Boston

I arrived tonight after a relatively uneventful direct flight from Portland. Weather as I arrived is exactly the type of weather I'm used to in the Pac NW. And I love that. Race day should be 55*, partly cloudy w/some chance of rain. That's exactly how my qualifying race weather was so bring it.

On the flight there were many many Boston runners, including Barb (that's all I got from her) that I sat next to, also running her 1st Boston. She and I chatted a bunch about our training and plans for the race. I usually am not one to conversate too much esp on a long flight but this was great. Everything started to sink in. I read my book and remained calm.

My sister picked me up and I've been cozily tucked into her house for the evening. I got to see my little nieces and it is just good to be here all around. We ate pizza for dinner and I sadly abstained from beer. I think it is time to start the cleanse.

Through a random contact my sister has, she acquired a DVD bootleg of the official John Hancock Race Preview for the 114th Boston marathon. We watched it and were both crying by the end. (Lame, but how can you not?) I am going to watch this video no less than 5 more times before Monday. It is a great run through the course, with a video of the entire race from start to finish, not leaving a mile out. There are voice overs of interviews with various people that have advice and lessons learned about the course. How perfect.

My better half arrives at like 2 a.m. tonight and tomorrow I plan to get my race bib while my BIL gets his for the Sunday 5k. I have never been crazy about these big race expos (I have a friend pick up my Chicago bib for me in 2007) but I think I'll do a lap regardless. This is Boston FGS. I brought my vintage 1979 running mag and will try to get pics from those featured within (Grete Waitz, Bill Rodgers). I think they'd get a kick out of seeing this 30 year old publication.

I also plan to do an EASY run backwards down HBH (heartbreak hill) and then walk back up it. I'm staying at the top of it which is quite convenient. I keep trying to marginalize these hills by examining them physically, driving them, analyzing the elevation profile, comparing to my long run elevation profile. I just want them to disappear!

My usual 20 mile route goes across a looong gradual bridge that climbs 210 feet over less than 1.5 miles. I usually hit this around my 13 mile mark. I think the series of hills that spans miles 16-21 in Boston climbs 275 feet. So this should be nothing for me. Right? RIGHT!

I hope my magic taper worked.

I need to give a shout out here to all of the European runners that are not able to make it to Boston. I am completely devastated for you and feel your pain. I wish I had something conciliatory or encouraging to say but I know how I'd feel if I were in your place. Just hang in there, and you are missed here.

One of those runners that is unable to make it is my friend Petra - I was so excited to meet her in person on race day and take the bus together. I know you'll get your chance to run Boston at some point in time but I will truly miss you on Monday.

More from the battlefield tomorrow. I'll try to take pics of the people scoping out HBH tomorrow, it should be interesting.

FIVE DAYS TIL BOSTON!

Again, way too late on the posting once again but better late than never.

First, my last post was in reference to my final day at work, which has now passed. I put in a lot of effort in the last two weeks that I'm proud of, but it almost killed me. I am so glad it is done. I have been having a wonderful retirement thus far and know it is only going to get better. More on that later...

The Boston marathon is 5 days away. I leave Portland for Boston on Friday and have a few days to acclimate to the time zone. I have been training for this race since just after christmas. I had intended to do an 15 (ish) week training program but hiccuped a few weeks in and had to adjust. Actually, the reason I wavered is because I got sick. When I returned I solidified a 10 week program that was very similar to my Portland training. I truly think that anything beyond 10 weeks for me is tough to commit to and stick to. I love the concept of pre-training build up and think I'll employ that should I ever run another marathon. This is something that I believe Pfitz uses and I think Jen used it in her current training cycle. It compartmentalizes things a bit more and puts less pressure on a bigger plan.

I would like to type up the whole training plan and record my results, but that ain't gonna happen. Maybe some time later, but for now I'll say this:

1. I did the best that I could and am proud of that
2. I completed several long runs including 2 x 20 milers
3. I am relatively injury-free
4. I am slower than I was for the Portland race
5. I didn't push it on my speedwork like I have in the past

Touching on some of the above....

Long runs:

Week 1 - 11 miles @ 8:16 pace
Week 2 - 8 miles @ 8:24 pace (must have shortened this run?)
Week 3 - 13 miles @ 8:35 pace
Week 4 - 15 miles @ 8:29 pace
Week 5 - 18 miles @ 8:43 pace
Week 6 - 12 miles @ 8:09 pace
Week 7 - 20 miles @ 8:34 pace
Week 8 - 20 miles @ 8:43 pace
Week 9 - 16 miles @ 8:27 pace

The two 20 milers I just ran what was comfortable, not like training the last time. Last time I started at a good clip and it felt good but hard. I'd decided to push it for the whole run and if I died at the end so be it. I'm glad I ran that way because it helped indicate to me how fast I could really go and helped dictate my race pace. This time around, however, I wasn't feeling as ambitious and was definitely feeling slower. I was okay with trucking along at a pace that felt good. The last mile of my Week 7 20 miler was 7:22 because I decided I had energy left and wanted to use it. The last mile of my Week 8 20 miler was 7:36, same thing. So I think I maybe could have pushed those runs more. I guess I'm just feeling a little more comfortable and less pressured to run fast for the time being.

I had a really bad tempo run early on in the training which salted my attitude toward speedwork for the whole cycle. (This is where having a coach would have helped me out but I won't go there.) Again, I'm feeling less pressure for speed so I didn't take my tempo runs super seriously. I also cut short my track workouts if I wasn't feeling it. My build up before this training cycle was two months of eating and drinking (post-Portland marathon) so I just didn't have much speed in my body left hanging around. My build up to the Portland race was a full 10 months of dedicated training and racing including focused speedwork and triathlons.

There is probably a lot more I could get into on my training since I haven't divulged much in the last 10 weeks. However, all are bygones for now and the next important step is to....

Set My Goal!

I had a mini crisis last night about how the hell I was going to run this race. All this time I've been telling everyone "no, I don't have a goal time, I just want to have a fun run." At a certain point, however, this has to mean something. I am a numbers person and I can't just get into my corral w/o a race plan in mind. I haven't been laboring over my paces at all or put much though into it so I started stressing out. I contacted my old friend Coach Shawn who helped walk me through everything. We talked today for about an hour and it was great to be able to bounce this off of someone that knows what they're talking about. The plan is to start off with an 8:30 pace (8:20 or 8:25 is okay too, but only if I'm feeling it) then reassess at the halfway point. If I am still feeling really good kick it up a bit or if not stay on pace and if I'm feeling bad it is okay to drop back. As I've stated to numerous family/friends/waiters/waitresses I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN. (Is that such a crime?)

I am mostly worried about my ego getting in the way. Now that I've thought it through I am confident I can run it free of worry about my time and comparison to myself and others. I'm definitely going to enjoy everything and soak it all in. It is a fun race and I'm proud that I made it there.

Next on my worry list is logistics and packing....stay tuned!

Going The Distance

Let me briefly say that I am in the final stretch and it literally feels like the end of a track race. (Had to tie in the running here somehow.) I'm giving it my all and feeling like I can't possibly push any further. Body and mind are squeezed to their limits but the finish line is right there. Just a bit ahead.

It will be interesting to see if I vomit into the grass at the end but I do know for certain I will be so very relieved.

Many many more posts to come in the next week, month, year.

4 Weeks Left!

So many things to discuss.

1st, the most important news that has been weighing on my mind for a long time now. I QUIT MY JOB. Yes, I did. I never thought I'd be the type of person to walk away from a job, especially when things are like they are, but I did it. A lot of hemming and hawing went into this but I am so glad the decision is made. I am going to pursue a totally different career path and probably lifestyle. I'm going to become a certified yoga instructor with the intention of opening a studio in Vancouver, WA. A change like this has always been in the back of my mind and the timing was right to make it happen now. I have been really unhappy with my job for a long time for many reasons. It became evident recently that things were not going to change anytime soon. All of these factors in play made it a lot easier to make this choice. My last day is either 4/2 or 4/9, but I'm shooting for 4/2. I'm transferring all of my projects to other people which has also been rough. Even though I put my notice in over a week ago I am still waking up in the middle of the night worrying about work. I really hope this ends, and soon.

The best part of this is that the teacher training doesn't start until the fall so I am going to have a lot of free time between now and then. I'm the type to worry about everything and one of my fears is that I'll become a lazy, bored, overweight alcoholic. That's not very positive is it? The good part is that in my 32 years I've learned that I actually do have control over everything and there is NO WAY I'd let any of that happen. In my spare time I've been writing up lists galore and it is helping me look forward to it.

There is no time in my life I think I'd be able to follow this path. Soon we'll have kids crawling all over us (maybe 2 years or so?) so the time for this change is now. Reading this article helped push me toward my decision. There are a lot of other factors that helped justify this as well so if you're struggling with the same decision let me know if you want to talk more! I am very fortunate to have saved up money and to be able to lean on my husband, who is 100% supportive and on board. I wouldn't have put us in this position if we couldn't manage financially.

I am really excited about the yoga path and have a lot of ideas. I'm planning out what I will do over the summer to prepare for the training (practicing a LOT, learning & reading a LOT) but I am also planning beyond that. I'm going to write a business plan for the potential studio and work on outreach stuff too. I really want to donate teaching to those that don't have access to it. I'll share some of those thoughts as I move forward and probably look for feedback. There are two local yoga NFPs and I'm hoping to work with one of them over the summer. I also want to find a studio that I could volunteer at so I can learn more of the business side of running a studio. If anyone reading this has resources that you could point me to that would be awesome. I'm talking yoga teachers, studio owners, etc. I'm trying to talk with everyone I can right now, doesn't matter where they are located.

There is so much more I could ramble on about but that's about the gist of it.

I AM SO EXCITED.

On to training. Boston is 4 weeks from tomorrow! Training has been going so-so lately and I've cut a lot of runs short. I'm just so tired. And sick of it. I started feeling sick a few days ago and was worried how that would affect my 20 miler today. For the first time I planned to go out relatively early and just get it over with. I ended up leaving at 10:40 after a breakkie of coffee and 2 pieces of french toast with peanut butter and syrup. Damn good meal. (I have also been eating like a hog lately and loving it, despite its disgustingness.)

I set out with no goals other than to not have to call someone to pick me up. I went out easy so my legs would get tight early. Lately they've been starting to hurt really early, like mile 7 or 8. I end up pushing through it and generally it goes away, or I get used to it, but it sucks. And it worries me. I'm always worried.

I'm not going to go through all of the splits but I was basically all over the board from 8:20s to low 9:00s. I ended up averaging 8:35 which I felt was quite impressive for where I am in my training. I was expecting to go a lot slower. And it felt...okay. Like, yes, it was hard, how couldn't it be, but it was not worse than shorter long runs and actually better than any of my long runs so far. I'm not even really tired now? Isn't that weird and awesome? When I was nearing home (I did a 20 mile loop from home) I had to stop at a light and saw I had 0.7 miles left. I felt like I had a lot left in my tank so decided to go fast until I hit 20. I ended the run with a 7:30 mile. TAKE THAT!

I don't know who I'm talking shit to - perhaps my persona that doesn't think I'm good enough, smart enough and doggone it no one likes me! So take that you fool.