4 Weeks Left!

So many things to discuss.

1st, the most important news that has been weighing on my mind for a long time now. I QUIT MY JOB. Yes, I did. I never thought I'd be the type of person to walk away from a job, especially when things are like they are, but I did it. A lot of hemming and hawing went into this but I am so glad the decision is made. I am going to pursue a totally different career path and probably lifestyle. I'm going to become a certified yoga instructor with the intention of opening a studio in Vancouver, WA. A change like this has always been in the back of my mind and the timing was right to make it happen now. I have been really unhappy with my job for a long time for many reasons. It became evident recently that things were not going to change anytime soon. All of these factors in play made it a lot easier to make this choice. My last day is either 4/2 or 4/9, but I'm shooting for 4/2. I'm transferring all of my projects to other people which has also been rough. Even though I put my notice in over a week ago I am still waking up in the middle of the night worrying about work. I really hope this ends, and soon.

The best part of this is that the teacher training doesn't start until the fall so I am going to have a lot of free time between now and then. I'm the type to worry about everything and one of my fears is that I'll become a lazy, bored, overweight alcoholic. That's not very positive is it? The good part is that in my 32 years I've learned that I actually do have control over everything and there is NO WAY I'd let any of that happen. In my spare time I've been writing up lists galore and it is helping me look forward to it.

There is no time in my life I think I'd be able to follow this path. Soon we'll have kids crawling all over us (maybe 2 years or so?) so the time for this change is now. Reading this article helped push me toward my decision. There are a lot of other factors that helped justify this as well so if you're struggling with the same decision let me know if you want to talk more! I am very fortunate to have saved up money and to be able to lean on my husband, who is 100% supportive and on board. I wouldn't have put us in this position if we couldn't manage financially.

I am really excited about the yoga path and have a lot of ideas. I'm planning out what I will do over the summer to prepare for the training (practicing a LOT, learning & reading a LOT) but I am also planning beyond that. I'm going to write a business plan for the potential studio and work on outreach stuff too. I really want to donate teaching to those that don't have access to it. I'll share some of those thoughts as I move forward and probably look for feedback. There are two local yoga NFPs and I'm hoping to work with one of them over the summer. I also want to find a studio that I could volunteer at so I can learn more of the business side of running a studio. If anyone reading this has resources that you could point me to that would be awesome. I'm talking yoga teachers, studio owners, etc. I'm trying to talk with everyone I can right now, doesn't matter where they are located.

There is so much more I could ramble on about but that's about the gist of it.

I AM SO EXCITED.

On to training. Boston is 4 weeks from tomorrow! Training has been going so-so lately and I've cut a lot of runs short. I'm just so tired. And sick of it. I started feeling sick a few days ago and was worried how that would affect my 20 miler today. For the first time I planned to go out relatively early and just get it over with. I ended up leaving at 10:40 after a breakkie of coffee and 2 pieces of french toast with peanut butter and syrup. Damn good meal. (I have also been eating like a hog lately and loving it, despite its disgustingness.)

I set out with no goals other than to not have to call someone to pick me up. I went out easy so my legs would get tight early. Lately they've been starting to hurt really early, like mile 7 or 8. I end up pushing through it and generally it goes away, or I get used to it, but it sucks. And it worries me. I'm always worried.

I'm not going to go through all of the splits but I was basically all over the board from 8:20s to low 9:00s. I ended up averaging 8:35 which I felt was quite impressive for where I am in my training. I was expecting to go a lot slower. And it felt...okay. Like, yes, it was hard, how couldn't it be, but it was not worse than shorter long runs and actually better than any of my long runs so far. I'm not even really tired now? Isn't that weird and awesome? When I was nearing home (I did a 20 mile loop from home) I had to stop at a light and saw I had 0.7 miles left. I felt like I had a lot left in my tank so decided to go fast until I hit 20. I ended the run with a 7:30 mile. TAKE THAT!

I don't know who I'm talking shit to - perhaps my persona that doesn't think I'm good enough, smart enough and doggone it no one likes me! So take that you fool.

Babies, Doobies and (of course) Nancy Kerrigan

I just ran 12 miles in cold pouring rain on a THURSDAY. I don't know why but doing it on Thursday makes it feel even more nonsensical. My fingers a numb and swollen and making it hard to type. I am so glad this run is done. I've gotten in the habit of skipping at least one important run per week and so far I've done all right.

Well, ok. Yesterday I had a 10 mile VO2 Max run that I was promising myself I'd skip. But I made a plea bargain w/myself and did the 5 x 1000 repeats on the track and ran home. So I only ran 5.6 miles but i still did the speedwork. It all worked out very well and both parties were pleased.

I do have an injury that's been nagging me and going up and down on the pain scale. I have a shin split in my inner left ankle that smarts like the dickens. (That is a term that my Wisconsin grandma would have used.) Last night for about 5 minutes it felt like someone was taking a baseball bat to it. It was ridiculous. Then immediately it went back to a level 2 pain. I don't get it. Anyway, I'm trying to ice it at least once/day and just ignore it. Isn't that how we're supposed to deal w/injuries?

Tomorrow is d-day and I really need to smoke a doobie to calm myself down. Too bad I don't smoke doobies. I guess I'll opt for a glass of wine.

Is it just me or is everyone getting pregnant right now? I am so happy for everyone but I think I'm still in denial about growing up. When will this end?

PS - my run tonight was at a decent pace. I don't know the total average but I'd guess 8:20? I felt strong and good despite the cold and damp.

That's it for now. Biyee.

6 weeks left?

Wow - time has been ticking on by with barely a moment to stop and take inventory here. Actually, posting here has been one of the many To Dos HOMH (hanging over my head). Just a few moments ago I took an inventory on all of the things hanging over my head and RIFBAM (reasons I feel bad about myself) and it wasn't pretty. I won't share it with you!

I have had some good runs lately but did miss a big one last week - my tempo run...what was I thinking?? So I feel bad about that but only marginally compared to other stuff in my life. My 18 miles today went well and I finished in 2:37, which is an 8:43 pace. I've been doing a lot of yoga lately too which is great, but I feel a little bit like its kicking my ass and slightly hindering my running. And then the running is hindering the yoga. My legs shake in some of the poses because they're so damn tired. My body won't twist like it should because everything is so tight. My masseuse that I used in prior marathon training was injured in a car wreck (sorry Kurt!) and I haven't had the chance to find someone new. I need to get worked out! I might do a spa massage this Friday if I'm feeling fancy.

But anyway, I'm definitely taking it a lot slower this training cycle. Just trying to focus on having fun and not being too serious. And to not stress out about not being as fast. And also being fatter. See? What is wrong with me? No stress....who cares about a few #s. Perspective FGS. So, anyway, I want to have fun during the marathon and as Jen says, just run my victory lap. I'm not going to requalify and who knows if I'll even get close to a 3:40. I do take the training somewhat seriously - how can you not in order to commit to so many miles/week?

There are some things that I've been quiet about recently that I hope to be able to open up about soon. (Sorry, not pregos.) I've been trying to meditate and make decisions on big things and it all may be coming to fruition soon. Stay posted! I think I'm getting my shit in order and that feels good, but it is a bit of a struggle to get there and I'm hoping that ends soon.

Now: the weather. Cause who doesn't like news about the weather? It has been pretty nice here lately and everything is popping out of the ground. We have a glorious cherry tree in front of our house that is blossomed PINK all over right now. It smells great and is pretty amazing. I've been working out my plan for my vegetable garden, even taking some classes to edumacate myself. The downside to buying a house with intensive landscaping is the work. Josh and I spent at least 5 man hours cleaning out and weeding a small section of it on Saturday and it honestly feels like we got no where. We did generate a tightly packed "yard waste" container provided by the city. Like, the huge ones. So we must have made somewhat of a dent? The best discovery were the several petite dog turds that lay exactly in the center of some of our decorative grasses. You know the kind that fluff out from the middle. The little bastard seems to have taken a liking to the comfort of those grasses and his point has been made. It is kind of funny but also really GD annoying!

I'm just babbling now and not even going to re-read for edits. Sorry folks! Time is of the essence. Have a great week....

eedo

8 Weeks Left

8 weeks til Boston? Yikes. For some reason I feel way more unprepared than I was 8 weeks before my last marathon.

Sunday I ran 15 miles and it was uuuuh-okay. Not great. Weather was gorgeous and I ran from home down to Lake Vancouver and Frenchman's Bar. I got to watch the OBRA time trials that were going on beside me and that was interesting. I listened to my ipod the whole time. My legs started feeling sucky around mile 10/11 but somehow I managed through the end. I thought they'd get worse, but then kind of just stayed the same, maybe even loosened up a bit. I had issues with my feet getting numb and think its the new shoes. I wonder if I ordered the wrong size or what. No matter how much I loosened up the laces they still felt numb and tight.

I don't feel as strong as I did 8 weeks before Portland but my same 15 miler then was at a 8:31 pace and today's run was 8:29 pace. So I guess not bad?

Below are some fun pics from my Chicago/Boston jaunt a few weeks ago:




This is what I do afterhours in Chitown:

Can you tell I was having a blast?

This is in Boston, pre-heartbreak hill run with my brother in law. Don't we look tough? Notice I'm wearing 2 pairs of tights - one full length and 3/4 then over that. It was COLD out.

11 mile fun run

11 miles on a Thursday!

Another awesome weather day...I can't stand it. But don't be too envious, I'm sure it will return to nasty gray very soon. I left around 3:45 and had a nice run. I still haven't found my pace yet in general so I think the miles were sporadic. I made a point to take on the hills, which I'm going to try to do more in anticipation of Boston's hills. My miles:

8:47, 22, 13, 13, 45, 27, 18, 07, 23, 9:18, 7:54 = 8:26 avg

Yep, all over the place. Whatever.

I'm obsessed w/48 hours on WE, RHWOOC and can't wait until RHWONYC. I went to my first gardening class tonight and it was so-so. I am super fired up about setting up some raised beds for vegetables.

I am so fucking excited that tomorrow is Friday. Beer thirty! Wine O'Clock! Bottom's up! Rock out with your cock out!

8 mile Tempo Run

I did my 8 mile tempo run today in gorgeous weather. Despite my lingering soreness I was fired up to get outside and away from my computer. There was SUN! And it was warm! And there are crocuses coming up in my yard!



(Side note: we first saw our current house in about May/June last year, so have no idea what kind of crap is growing right now - I can tell there are daffodils, irises, hyacinths and some other stuff that I can't ID. It is so awesome.)

My stomach was still somewhat full from lunch (ate at noon, went running at 3:00) but I kind of settled into it. After the first two miles (8:27, 8:35) I went into my 4 tempo miles. I guess I was aiming for 7:45's, or my half marathon pace. Whatever I ended up putting out was hard and hurt. I just pushed through, hoping to find a comfortable clip and found it for about 2.5 miles...that's when I decided to give myself a break. I rarely cheat on runs, esp. tempos, so I feel quite bad about this. However, I was ready to finish the 1.5 miles after my minute or so rest! I ended up doing my tempo miles at 7:24, 7:34, 7:36, 7:59. You can see I pushed it too fast and was definitely slowing down for the last mile, even after my little break. The last two miles were ho-hum and I stopped at my husband's office with about a mile left. 8:46, 8:39 were the last two miles.

Total = 8.16 mi/8:09 pace

I am feeling so-so about this run. It wasn't great but it also wasn't terrible. I have plenty more of these ahead of me so I'm going to put this one behind me and move on to the next.

So now...some pictures for you.

This is my celebratory pickle martini post-haircut. My husband made this for me - doesn't it look psychadellic? If you like dirty martinis or dirty gibsons, or pickles or just vodka you should try this. The next night I actually had a beet infused vodka martini at a bar. Yum! I think I might try to do some of my own home-infusing of vodka: pineapple, beets, capers, mint...what else?



This is my holding my sweet new niece out in Boston. This was my last day there and she really got cute sweet and cuddly with me right before I had to go. I was in heaven holding her!

Me pre-hair cut:

Back at it

I am back at it again and it feels good.





Very short summary:

• Jan 17th - concluded Week 3 of marathon training; got sick
  Jan 18th-24th - felt like complete ass, no way I could run
• Jan 25th-29th - started feeling better but was too busy with work (and still tired) to do anything.
• Jan 30th-Feb 8th - TRAVEL. Work/pleasure to Chicago, Madison and Boston. Managed to get in a measly run in Chicago and two in Boston.
• Feb 9th - Marathon training begins again...
  

I had kind of freaked out about missing so much of my training but then remembered I still had 10 weeks left until Boston. I trained for Portland in 10 weeks, so why not just follow that plan? So that is what I am doing and so far so good. I'll recap in more details later, but my "first" long run of 13 miles went fine, although I was very sore afterward. We had done an uphill hike (first one in months) the day before which definitely contributed to the soreness. Poor me, I treated myself to a post-run massage! It was great and now Monday is over with and I'm looking forward to a productive week.

Work news...why not? It seems like I've been talking about this a lot and only just now did it hit me that someone that I work with could possibly read this? I guess they could but I really don't let anyone know that I write here, so how would they find me? I guess I'll be a little shy about what I am thinking - basically, I'm making progress toward finding a resolution to my woes. It is exciting me and I love being excited. More later.


I am also excited about all of the other things that 2010 will bring. We have so many travel ideas and plans in place already that I can't stand it. This summer expecially will be filled with a lot of hiking, local travel and hopefully backcountry camping. I love nature!



Oh yeah, I also cut about 12" off of my hair. It is short, really short. But it has made running a lot easier so I'm happy.




Hope you had a great Prezzos Day,

Emily

Let’s Try This Again

 

Not working.  I put it out there and it didn't work. 

Which is 100% my fault.

Here's what happened.  It got late and I got frustrated and tired and couldn't make myself do it.  Sometimes I look back at when I was really consistent with training and romanticize that it was easy and I had no issues with getting it all in.  So I imagine it should be that way now too.  But it wasn't and it isn't now.  It is HARD to make yourself training a lot.  Heck, it is hard to make yourself train a little.  It takes a lot of mental attention and stamina and accountability. 

So I need to try harder and that's what it comes down to.

Putting it Out There

This is really exciting for me to post twice in one week so I'm going to go ahead and do it.

I am having problems getting back into the groove of running. After having last week off I am finding it tough. Plus, I still feel a little sick. Plus, I haven't been sleeping well. Plus, I am really busy at work. Plus, I just ate a box of Triscuits for dinner. I know I know, I suck.

Today was supposed to be my revival but all of the above factors stopped me short and here I am at 8:00 p.m. getting ready to go to bed. With no miles under my belt. So I'm going to try to give myself some slack and give it til tomorrow to get started. I can still complete my good workouts in the remaining days of the week. So....here is my plan:

M = bikram (done)

T = nada

W = 9 mile tempo

Th = 5 easy

F = 10 miles

Sa = 4 easy

Su = 17 miles

(Did I just type 17 miles. Shite. What have I gotten myself into??)

I was thinking today about the marathon and for the first time I was like, I can't believe I ran that fast. Cause I can't! Right now that is so far away and my body is no where near that right now. I guess it gives me a little hope to know I have potential but it is still kind of depressing.

I mentioned above that work is really busy right now. I hate to sound like a broken record but I am trying to make it work out for me. I think my job is pretty interesting but there are a lot of politics and some of the people I have to deal with just totally suck. Over the past few months the workload has picked up considerably and there are a lot of things happening at the same time. A lot of stuff to keep up with. I'd rather focus on this than have to deal with shitheads with low IQs. I've gone through a couple of hard bouts but have been managing to bounce back. I guess I'll keep up with this cycle until it gets the best of me. I'm researching some other ideas that I will share with you today

• SAHM (need kids 1st)
• elementary school teacher
• letterpress craftswoman
• antiques dealer
• yoga instructor

This is not all inclusive, so let me know if you have any ideas! As for the teacher part, it is something that just hit me recently. I haven't had a lot of time to really digest it or talk w/my teacher friends about it though, so let me know your experiences on teaching if you have them.

My hair has been on my mind a lot lately, perhaps because of its proximity to my cerebellum but more likely that I think it is trying to asphyxiate me in my sleep. It is really long. It is become a pain to comb through when wet and really a pain when I run and there is any precipitation. I am going to do locks of love which basically means a big chop which I think will be pretty liberating. Strangely though I had a revival of love with my locks last weekend and think I'll keep them around for a while. It is kind of fun to have something extra to toss around and drape all over my torso. Of course my desired cut is like Heidi's but will be a tough blow when I come out still looking like me.

***********************************

(Some recent pics above post-run and the gnarly knot resulting from the hair + moisture. Can someone who uses blogger please tell me why when I post pictures, they always are placed at the top of the post and are really hard to drag and drop into the desired location? I can't copy/paste anything either, including the pics. And, when I upload a pic it takes anything I've already typed and makes the spacing different, like 10 line breaks inbetween each paragraph. It really chaps my ass and if you have any advice or solution I'd be forever grateful [and so would my ass]. I'm running on IE 8 if that makes a dif.)

Is it time?

I figured I should check in here. Lately I've been feeling a bit off balance and thought a little touch base/writing was in session for me.

(This is likely going to be a ramble.)

Let's start backwards. Today was my 2nd annual Vancouver Lake Half marathon. I didn't finish the race, in fact I didn't even start it. Monday I woke up starting to feel sick and within a matter of hours I was sick, exhausted and miserable. This wasn't a quick one - it lasted quite strong through Thursday, then has been tapering off since, but not quickly. I never get sick and was miserable. I have no tolerance for it and had a really rough week. I feel my decision to not run at all this week was wise and I'm ready to get started again. It sucks that I had to take a week off but it is what it is (IIWII).

I am having issues with my job. Surprise! Things had been going relatively well for about a month and my projects are really starting to take off and I'm actually enjoying it a lot. I have a lot more responsibility this year and actually feel comfortable with it. Great! Not sure how to say this indirectly, but I'm having some people issues at work. And it really got to me on Friday - I ended up sobbing away most of my afternoon all alone at home. Things happened at work and in my already weakened state I just lost it. Luckily I work from home but I am still not happy it had to come to this. I don't want to have one person cause me to leave my job but I am seriously considering it. However, I'm not ready for a career change, scared of it all and not sure what to do. It is a real big bummer. I wish more than anything I had the cushion to take a year off and do whatever I wanted - travel, take classes, volunteer, etc. I just don't think I can do that, plus even if I could live off of Josh I'd feel pretty guilty. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness anymore, however, so something will need to change. It is making me super depressed.

Training! Guess what? I'm training to run the f'ing Boston Marathon. I set up a 16-week training program that I started the week of xmas. I'd been sailing along very smoothly not missing any runs and do a good amount of cross training. Then last week I didn't feel right, skipped an 8 mile tempo run, bounced back briefly, then ended up getting sick. Another bummer! I am hoping that by Tuesday I am totally back on and okay, although I am definitely still a little sick and not 100%. Training in the winter is really tough - little daylight, shitty weather and low motivation. I plan to push through it.

Next weekend I will travel for 9 days, going to Chicago, Wisconsin (briefly) for work, then Boston to see my sister and my new baby niece - Eleanor. I am soooo happy to get to see everyone but also a little scared about what the travel will do to my motivation and drive to get in my runs. The 17 miles I have scheduled next Sunday is going to be ROUGH to do in Chicago, esp if the weather is cold and I'm uber hungover. Once I get to Boston I'm looking fwd to running along the race route some and getting many miles in. I guess I'll just have to allow myself to be a little flexible and not be disappointed if I miss some workouts.

Going back to the work thing one obvious question to consider is when am I going to start popping out babies. I've been thinking about it a lot. Part of me thinks I NEED TIME but part of me is really starting to feel that desire. I don't think there will necessarily ever be a "perfect" time to start a family, but I do need to think through it (and of course consult my husband on it too). I can see myself being a GREAT stay at home mom....so who knows.

Leaving you with a pic of me with my dad at my post wedding BBQ. I love this picture. The picture at the top of the post was last night having sushi - my first venture outside for days...can you tell that I'm happy to be alive? Yes, I may be pasty and gauntish but I'm outside! (BTW, my hair is a rats nest and going to locks of love as soon as possible.)

Have a great one.....eedo