LISTEN, WHILE ARE YOU ARE OUT WITH YOUR PORTABLE TOASTERS GETTING READY FOR RACING...
I've been hobnobbing with Felicity.
Ahhh, isn't she lovely? I hate to break it to you but hello, today was probably the best day of my life. I am probably going to gain a celebrity friend out of this and possibly lose 5 pounds a maybe get my Masters degree. (Not that I care about advanced education. But still, if you're gonna hand it to me on a silver platter - fine!)
I went to the hippy hairy Portland Farmers Mkt today and sat down to enjoy a hangover breakfast burrito while watching the cute young family get situated next to me. I thought wow, this chick looks just like Keri Russell, then within 1.2 seconds I realized it was her. Lucky for me...or so I think...
Let's start off by saying: I would be horrible at living in Los Angeles. Every time I see a celebrity it talk about it til I am about to asphyxiate and NO ONE CARES. Ok, so anyway, I have actually had encounters with a potpourri of celebs. Here is my roundup:
- Heather O'Rourke
- Tom Skerrit
- Lara Flynn Boyle
- Etc (Poltergeist III variety)
- Derek Jeter
- John Cusak
- Michael Jorden
- Just Jack
- Billy Zane
- President Obama
- Rod BlaGOY a vitch
- Tom Cruise
- Jack Kennedy
- Princess Di
- Napoleon Dynamite
I think celebrities are stupid and I hate their lives but I still can't stop reading US Weekly and the whole song/dance. Why? What is wrong with me?
So after all of this obsession I'm sitting next to the dear sweet Keri Russell and I'm debilitated. I mean, if reading the mags is JV then this should be the state tournament right? But instead I'm all "must text msg everyone I know" which btw is NO ONE anymore. I even sent a msg to my BFF from college with whom I watched every fucking god damn episode of Felicity. Even that stupid we're all in a box under the witch's bed season.
And 14 hours later she still hasn't written me back. The only excuse for this is that she's camping but that is 1000% impossible so now I'm pissed.
I got home and did the appropriate google and found out there is a Harrison Ford/Branden Fraser/Keri Russell film being shot in Portland over the next couple of months. Jackpot!
So bottom line is that I'm clearly going to be seeing Felicity on a daily basis until this thing wraps. What are my opening lines? How do we become besties so I can show her everything I know about Portland and womanhood and in exchange she gives me Scott Speedman deets. (Sorry Josh but I would probably leave you for Speedman, thanks!)
Oh yeah, today was also the best day ever. I did my first bike ride ever (ish) and it rocked. Portland had a thunderstorm which is as unheard of as a celebrity here. And then hail. I experienced it all from the most perfect vantage point ever (hint: its a BAR). More (and when I say more I mean pictures and lots of words) later. OH yeah, and I drank a shitload of beer which has lead me to this post. Sweet! I take credit for nothing! How do I delete this tomorrow?