I am really really disappointed in myself right now. Without this sounding like too much of a pity party, I just want to get down on "paper" how I'm feeling and where this is coming from, so I can understand myself better.
I am worried that this first week of training didn't work out. Is tri training not for me? I'm only in the first week and already messing up my schedule? I sometimes over-organize to a fault...I plan out my whole day to a T, then when I wake up 15 minutes late, everything is shot and I don't follow any of the plan. That is not healthy and I thought I'd abandoned those bad habits long ago, but I guess they sneak out every so often. This is the worst training week I've had since last fall, before I started getting serious again. My behavior is making me feel shit-tay, but what can I do?
**Intermission from the Darkness**
Life isn't all bad, right? Here are some things I'm loving right now:
- Set design of Practical Magic. This is exactly how I would like the interior of my future house to be...rustic, light, worn, organized, pretty, lots of greenery and botanical stuff. I found out that this house was constructed temporarily and torn down in two days on San Juan island in Washington.
- Pottery Barn catalog - I love the house they used in this photo shoot! I want that home office...
- Bacon - already mentioned
- The public library - although I had to wait 5 months, I finally got the entire 3rd season of Weeds this week. Next up may be Big Love, or maybe I'll revisit SATC, some of the seasons I've only seen 3 or less times. I also have 2 bikram books in my possession, one of the Obama books and several other enticing reads on hold.
- Target - I mean, who doesn't? I love stocking up on stuff that I absolutely need (e.g. hair clips in every color you could imagine) and something about the store just soothes me.
- Thrifting - I was able to stop by my old thrift store haunts in Seattle last week (Value Village in Capitol Hill I love you!) as well as the Goodwill in Portland and an estate sale at the home we're looking at that's for sale. I should be posting pictures but I'm lazy...I got a an old linen table cloth, some doilies (potential wedding decor), a vintage kitchen scale and some other crap that no one else would probably care about. At the estate sale I found lots of neat old artist supplies; the woman who lived there was an artist. There were old sketch pads and there were tons of paintings/watercolors that were so neat...how could anyone let all that go? I only bought one oil painting on canvas that isn't that exciting but it is original and that makes me happy.
- 30 Rock - I just can't get enough! Tracy Jordan and Liz Lemon! Can we please hang out for drinks sometime?
- Jillian's dress - I found this online after she got the boot by Jason. Who would turn down a lady in this dress!? Unlike Jillian, this dress is now unavailable (even on ebay). I also heard some juicy Bachelor news, but only read on if you don't mind a spoiler... I'm totally watching this tomorrow night FOR THREE HOURS - anyone want to join? I may DVR and start late to avoid commercials. RSVP in the comments box!
It is gray and cloudy out and I could sit here in laziness and misery all day watching TV, reading, drinking coffee OR I could get active. I think the best thing for me today could be just a long easy run, listening to stories on my iPod and relaxing into a pace. I need to get some fresh air and start this next week strong.
I'm posting some motivational quotes to get me in the mood:
"You are what you think about all day long."
- Dr. Robert Schuller
"It takes no more effort to expect the best, than to fear the worst. It's healthier, more productive, and a lot more fun!"
- Philip E. Humbert, PhD
"The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there."
- William James
"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."
- Chinese Proverb
Wish me luck, send your positive vibes my way and, as always...I'll keep you posted.