Sunday, March 01, 2009

It Gets Worse!




I am really really disappointed in myself right now. Without this sounding like too much of a pity party, I just want to get down on "paper" how I'm feeling and where this is coming from, so I can understand myself better.

I am worried that this first week of training didn't work out. Is tri training not for me? I'm only in the first week and already messing up my schedule? I sometimes over-organize to a fault...I plan out my whole day to a T, then when I wake up 15 minutes late, everything is shot and I don't follow any of the plan. That is not healthy and I thought I'd abandoned those bad habits long ago, but I guess they sneak out every so often. This is the worst training week I've had since last fall, before I started getting serious again. My behavior is making me feel shit-tay, but what can I do?

**Intermission from the Darkness**

Life isn't all bad, right? Here are some things I'm loving right now:
  1. Set design of Practical Magic. This is exactly how I would like the interior of my future house to be...rustic, light, worn, organized, pretty, lots of greenery and botanical stuff. I found out that this house was constructed temporarily and torn down in two days on San Juan island in Washington.
  2. Pottery Barn catalog - I love the house they used in this photo shoot! I want that home office...
  3. Bacon - already mentioned
  4. The public library - although I had to wait 5 months, I finally got the entire 3rd season of Weeds this week. Next up may be Big Love, or maybe I'll revisit SATC, some of the seasons I've only seen 3 or less times. I also have 2 bikram books in my possession, one of the Obama books and several other enticing reads on hold.
  5. Target - I mean, who doesn't? I love stocking up on stuff that I absolutely need (e.g. hair clips in every color you could imagine) and something about the store just soothes me.
  6. Thrifting - I was able to stop by my old thrift store haunts in Seattle last week (Value Village in Capitol Hill I love you!) as well as the Goodwill in Portland and an estate sale at the home we're looking at that's for sale. I should be posting pictures but I'm lazy...I got a an old linen table cloth, some doilies (potential wedding decor), a vintage kitchen scale and some other crap that no one else would probably care about. At the estate sale I found lots of neat old artist supplies; the woman who lived there was an artist. There were old sketch pads and there were tons of paintings/watercolors that were so neat...how could anyone let all that go? I only bought one oil painting on canvas that isn't that exciting but it is original and that makes me happy.
  7. 30 Rock - I just can't get enough! Tracy Jordan and Liz Lemon! Can we please hang out for drinks sometime?
  8. Jillian's dress - I found this online after she got the boot by Jason. Who would turn down a lady in this dress!? Unlike Jillian, this dress is now unavailable (even on ebay). I also heard some juicy Bachelor news, but only read on if you don't mind a spoiler... I'm totally watching this tomorrow night FOR THREE HOURS - anyone want to join? I may DVR and start late to avoid commercials. RSVP in the comments box!
Back to the question of what can I do....?

It is gray and cloudy out and I could sit here in laziness and misery all day watching TV, reading, drinking coffee OR I could get active. I think the best thing for me today could be just a long easy run, listening to stories on my iPod and relaxing into a pace. I need to get some fresh air and start this next week strong.

I'm posting some motivational quotes to get me in the mood:

"You are what you think about all day long."
- Dr. Robert Schuller

"It takes no more effort to expect the best, than to fear the worst. It's healthier, more productive, and a lot more fun!"
- Philip E. Humbert, PhD

"The path to cheerfulness is to sit cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there."
- William James

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."
- Chinese Proverb

Wish me luck, send your positive vibes my way and, as always...I'll keep you posted.

Love,
me

7 comments:

RunToFinish said...

way to get your complete thoughts out there... I bet that one good motivational book or inspirational show like Running the Sahara and you will be geared up to go. 1 week is not the be all end all (says the girl who can't run)...but maybe you need to evaluate if you really WANT to do tri training with everything else that's going on?? If you do then go for it, but if you want to focuse on just enjoying your workouts right now and plan the wedding/house then do that...win/win you just have to figure out where your happiness will be.

Denise said...

I think the first week of any schedule is allowed to be messed up. Use it as a test to see how you can make this schedule work for you. But if the schedule gets to stressful and it's not working, maybe that means you're not into it right now. Don't be hard on yourself, though...we're suppose to be enjoying this!

Melissa said...

I like what RunToFinish said in her comment...evaluate if you really WANT to tri train...dI feel like I can relate to what you wrote in your first paragraph.

One week of bad training is nothing at this point. Just re-set and have a good week starting Monday. Not every day is going to be full of great workouts and motivation, that's unrealistic. Maybe look through some photos of you racing, think about how it feels to have a good race, crossing the finish line and having that feeling of accomplishment and pride.

Planning a wedding and looking for a home to buy are also big life events! You have some exciting things coming up!

Oh..another piece of advice someone gave me was to sit down on Sundays and think about what your upcoming week of training will be, if you need to change anything with your schedule, and mentally 'prep' for the 7 days to come.

Of course, I'm going through some very similar questions as you, so take my comments with a grain of salt ;-)

Sorry for the long comment!

Tri Dave said...

That Chinese Proverb is one of my favorite quotes.

jen said...

Just pretend the new schedule starts this week! It doesn't matter that you missed some, especially this far out. I know you're going to enjoy triathlon training! I can't wait to get out for some bike rides together and find some open water swims this spring.. it's going to be a blast. :) I know having you on the Tri Train (CHOO CHOO!) is going to really help me stay focused and have fun with it.

Love all those quotes. I expect you to be very cheerful and to also answer questions in complete sentences. :) See you soon!

Alisa said...

I'm kinda the same way...I over plan and then if one thing goes wrong the whole day is F'd. Let me know if you come up with solutions to that!

P.S. I think you're going to rock your Tri this summer!

Sarah said...

Bacon in two posts - now I need to go buy some. Great.

Bachelor - I know the spoiler and it doesn't surprise me. I'm even relieved! And the dress will come around again. I can't come to your viewing as there is a concert at the Doug Fir, and we know how I feel about that place. . .

Be nice to yourself - you're great!